Written by opticynicismMay 30, 2015

The Day I Found Out I Was Banned From The Library

. . . and that day was today. No, I’m not kidding, but not banned in the way you are probably thinking. I did not stage a vivacious flash mob in the lobby, and I didn’t do an interpretive dance version of Stephen Kings “It” for the 3 – 5 year old Saturday Morning Reading […]

Written by opticynicismNovember 15, 2014January 19, 2019

The Illustrated Guide to Playing With Your Meat

I know why you’re all here. It’s not my wit and charm or my rapid-fire sense of humor. No it’s not, stop lying to me. You’re all a bunch of pigs and you read that title and your little pig brains went all “PORN!” and you clicked right on in here. Pigs, all of you. […]